My Life Abridged
In my early days- think 3 digit years- I had a thing with the boy next door. Or- the Imperial ruler next door? I broke free from Imperial China in AD 939 and really started to come into my own until- per usual- the French butt in. They shaped a large part of what I am today. Mr. Communist- Ho Chi Mihn came along- getting sick of Japanese occupation (WWII) and the French and said, “Enough’s enough,” resulting in an eight year war known as the IndoChina war that eventually made the Frenchies leave and divided me in two. Most of you know what happens next.
The battle for my heart between the North and the South went on from 1954-1975. You know, you try to keep your private life private. But Uncle Sam is kind of scared to death of communism. He tried, but it didn’t go well. The North eventually won out and I became communist. The whole thing left me broken and bruised. I’ve been trying to rebuild myself since. In the years following there was huge economic and social insanity. This came with inflation and even more death.
Did you hear about my neighbor Cambodia? Pol Pot had ideas of moving in so I had to go shut him down. I put a stop to the Khmer Rouge and had a government presence there until 1989. Today I still find myself battling between tradition and modernization. I’m an up and comer on the world stage and hope to make my mark in a positive way. I have a ton to offer and am excited for you to get to know more about me!
I would also like to point out that if you actually think about it I’m a better driver than everyone since we all drive like insane people and avoid accidents when most wouldn’t. Just sayin’ man.
Five Things I Can't Live Without
- Cashews and black pepper. I’m the world’s largest exporter of both those things! Who knew?!
- Mint: I put mint in EVERYTHING. Like, probably too much stuff.
- Water puppet shows. Creepy or quirky?
- Motorbikes. Despite the fact that there is a 200% tax on them- they’re everywhere. Literally everywhere.
- Dog. I eat dog. Is that a deal-breaker?
Ice Breakers Fun facts
- Slinkys were used in the Vietnam War as mobile radio antennas. They would sling the Slinky over branches and extend the range of their radios.
- In 2013, there were 37 million registered motorbikes, compared to just two million registered cars.
- In 2011, police in Vietnam were banned from chatting, smoking, putting their hands in their pockets or wearing black sunglasses on duty.
Deal Breakers Just No....
This is the same ol stuff folks. Be smart! No riding elephants, playing with animals that are supposed to be wild, buying things from kids on the street, volunteering at orphanages (or at least do extensive research before)- all the good ol SE Asia “Watch Outs” apply.
How can I help?
Don’t support these things! Boycott them! Make sure you do research on everything you do. By no means are these the only things to look out for.