You do it. After thinking on it for a long time, you finally make the decision to make a change. You prepare for however long it takes, and you’re ready to go. It’s exciting! It’s great! It’s almost here!! But you forget that going also requires leaving. Leaving behind the people you love and the lifestyle you’re accustomed to. And now, at the 11th hour- you realize what you’re sacrificing to go forward. Shit.
I’m particularly terrible about vocalizing feelings. But here, within the safe confines of the Internet (that’s safe, right?) I want to tell those of you reading this- that I’m incredibly and overwhelmingly lucky to have you all. To have your support in this less than conventional decision, and to know that you’re all there for me no matter where I am in the world or in my life.
So, I guess this is a long winded way of saying- when it comes down to it- as exciting and awesome as this new adventure will be- I will most certainly miss a whole lot.
I started a blog back in Italy that was comprised solely of lists. A list of twelve (or some division of twelve) things definitively ranked based on my opinions. I had a lot of time (and also I’m pretty effing hilarious and have a lot of thoughts in my big brain) so I channeled these thoughts into a list form. Why twelve? Because life is too good for a list of just the top ten. In honor of that blog that I eventually ran out of steam on- I will occasionally be bringing back the format. Aka now. Kindly presenting:
The 12 things I will miss the most about home.
11) The holidays.
Christmas and thanksgiving. No explanation necessary. I’m devastated.
9) Western toilets. Do I really have to go in a hole? Is that a thing?
Do they eat cheese in Asia?
7) Fro Yo. Has that become a global phenomenon yet? #doyoumeanreallycoldyogurt?
6) Burritos. Of both the Chipotle and the breakfast variety.
4) Forks. Wait- does all of Asia use chopsticks or just some? Should I already know the answer to that? Am I being racist? Is it really racist if it’s coming from another Asian? Wait. What was I talking about?
Go bears. Go badgers.
2) Chili’s fajitas.
And the only one that actually matters:
1) My amazing friends and family- because you’re what keeps me going and I love you all very much for it. I hate so much that you won’t stop being so wonderful to me. I will miss you more than you will ever know.
But then, in the end, you realize that you’re not leaving anyone behind. Because these people who love and support you (and who you feel equally affectionate towards) will always be with you, in one way or another. And it’s not so much a sacrifice as it is an opportunity. An opportunity to branch out and try new things and meet new people. And you know when it all comes back around the other way, there will be an entire list of things (probably mostly food) that you’ll miss about all the new places you’ve explored.
So, from the bottom of my heart, thank-you to everyone who has been there and continues to be there for me as I selfishly take this journey that I so badly need for myself. Like I said before, I need you and love you more than I’ll ever be able to get across. This post is for you- at least a little token of my gratification.
But Chili’s fajitas really is something I have to leave behind and they didn’t even say goodbye. I’m still coming to terms with that…….