WTF is she doing?

I’m doing it again. I’m up and leaving. After hanging out in that post graduation transition period for a little longer than expected- I was ready for a little stabilità. Living in Italy was amazing, but I wasn’t successful in finding a big girl job and I was eager to start the rest of my life. The next few years somehow flew by. I went from living in Chicago- with a population of 2.7 million and commuting to work for four hours a day, to eventually having to move closer to work and to a town of 25,000 people instead. As breakfasts turned into brunches, good friends became great friends, relationships became exes, and my apartment on Lake Michigan turned into an apartment near cornfields and the county fairgrounds….when I actually think about it, I have learned more about myself recently than I ever have abroad.

While everyone says traveling teaches you about yourself, I think I know myself pretty well. You can learn about yourself from anywhere, you just have to be open to it. I have been asked if this is the whole “find yourself Eat, Pray Love style” trip. And to that I can definitively answer “no”. I have been finding myself for my entire life, and my research has thus far lead me to understand that “me” happens to be a wanderer. There were no events that lead up to the moment I made the decision to make this change and go- no particularly tragic nor inspiring story behind my decision to leave. It just started to become more and more apparent that I was getting restless and growing unhappy and the only cure for me is to get back out there; to live in a world outside my comfort zone where I’m pushing boundaries and I’m pushing myself.

This new life choice is somewhat unfortunate for my bank account; my poor parents who get stuck with most of my possessions; and for my dream of marrying JJ Watt, having a house with a spiral staircase, a pit bull, and adopting 3 black baby boys and turning them into well raised, adorable, (and eventually rich) star athletes that I once had.  But ultimately, this is what makes me the happiest. Traveling is when I feel most at home, and it is one of the only things that I’m truly REALLY GOOD at.

What traveling teaches me- isn’t about myself. It’s about the world; the small part that I play, and how sometimes, I’m not as important as I think I am.  I’m ecstatic (and scared) to say that I’m ready to do some more discovering. And this time- in a whole new part of the world. It’s going to be hard. It’s going to be really hard. But hopefully, it’s going to push me to places (both literally and figuratively) that I’ve never been before. Asia is a whole new ball game that (ironically) I know very little about. But that’s exactly why I have to go find out.

I started this blog with the hope that I can share my experiences- what I do, what I learn, what I think, and how I feel throughout the entire thing.  I make no promises and have no intentions. I make no apologies and will have no regrets. I can only say I fully intend to kick its ass and come home alive.  And honestly, if all goes well, in the end I may be a little bit broken- but in a good way- because I’ll have left a piece of my heart in yet another part of the world.